I woke up this morning to the sounds of a cooing 10 month old being entertained by his big brother. They were speaking so gently to one another in the quiet morning hours and I thought my heart might explode. When we lazily made it out of bed and into the kitchen, we discovered the almost 4 year old making breakfast. He set the table with 4 mismatched spoons, 4 bowls, and a box of Cheerios. We all sat around the table, not saying much but feeling thankful to be together enjoying this sweet moment. Through it all, Paris was on my mind.
When I took my shower this morning, I thought about when my love for the City of Light began. It was in my high school French class. I knew then that Paris would always have a special place in my heart. When I first visited France as a senior in high school, I fell in love with it even more. When I returned with my husband on our honeymoon, the love became deep and intense. There is such magic in Paris, with its deep history and, of course, its endless cafés and bistros with some of the most wonderful food I've ever had the joy to eat.
I've been bouncing back and forth between images of the Paris I experienced as a young adult and the Paris I've seen in the news over the past 15 or so hours. My emotions swing back and forth between overwhelming sadness, anger, confusion, and fear. When I came across Anne Lamott's facebook post this morning, I felt a sigh of relief as I read her words. As a Christian, I often struggle to find women who speak realistically and truthfully about how we can get through situations like this. Anne never fails to make me think and put things in perspective.
If you're feeling lost and confused this morning, I highly recommend reading her post, which I've included below. I hope it brings you some much needed direction for your thoughts and emotions in the aftermath.
Love and prayers to you all, especially those who are hurt, physically and otherwise, in Paris.