Be the person who...

The first time I moved was when I was four years old. I don’t remember much about it and I have brief glimpses of the house where I spent the first few years of my life. After that, I didn’t move until I went to college. And even then, I went back to my childhood home at least once a month, sometimes more. 

After college, I moved back to my hometown. I got married and moved into an apartment about 25 minutes from where I grew up. And then, a year after getting married, we picked up and moved to Tokyo, Japan. Basically, I didn’t make any real moves between the ages of 4 and 23. 

We lived in Japan, where we knew absolutely no one,  for four years. It took me two of those years to feel like it was home. After four years and one baby in Japan, we moved on to Denver, Colorado. We had a number of friends there but spent a lot of time trying to figure out how and where we fit in for the first few years. Seven years later, we moved back to Minnesota. Again, we know quite a few people here and certainly don’t feel alone, but it’s all new. We are in a new stage of life compared to when we left here 11 years ago. So it is a little like starting all over again.

Here’s what I’ve figured out: 

Moving is a lot like walking into a cafeteria in high school and not knowing anyone that you can sit next to. You hope somebody invites you to sit down and share a meal with them and consider that it might be easier to sit alone and avoid the awkwardness altogether. When someone finally does invite you to sit down, it’s a constant game of trying to figure out what to say what not to say. Afterwords, you spend your time figuring out what you said wrong and how to fix it. If you’re lucky you end up finding a group of people that allow you to settle in. You have things in common to talk about; you challenge each other with new ideas; overall, you appreciate each other for being who you are. 

I’m thankful that I made connections through the food blogging world throughout the last decade. Many of those connections are Minnesota-based women in food and I am  especially grateful for that. Having a group of women who welcomed me into their circle, some of them without any idea who I was, has been a breath of fresh air in the midst of a chaotic last half of 2019. Moving is hard. It is scary and stressful and lonely and overwhelming. But finding people who will jump at the chance to dress up and share a delicious meal and a couple glasses of wine together? That sure puts things into perspective and gives me a strength I need to get through this time of transition. 

Be the person who…

says yes!

If you’re in the midst of a move, I want to encourage you to sit alone when you need to, but to put yourself out there and say ‘yes’ when you’re invited to gatherings. Sometimes they’ll fall flat, but sometimes they’ll give you the energy you need to be there for yourself and for your loved ones. Don’t give up. Your people are out there and are worth waiting for. 

Be the person who…

invites others in.

If you are settled into your place with your people and you see that person, nervous and alone, wondering around looking for a place to be, invite them in. They may turn you down, but I can guarantee that they will appreciate being seen.

Be the person. Share a meal. Invite them in.